Problem Children?  Or Problem Parents?         Mickey Burleson (October 31, 2006) This article is written from a sermon preached in May of 1970 by my wife’s father, Mitchell Palmer.  Mitchell Palmer and His wife, Betty, Cindi’s mother went home to rest in Paradise on November 30, 1974 following an automobile accident. Speaking of Ahaziah in 1 Kings 22:52; “And he did evil in the sight of the Lord, and walked in the way of his father and in the way of his mother…”  He was the son of Ahab and Jezebel. In many instances children have be sources of disappointment to parents since parent-child relations began just outside the Garden of Eden.  In every generation people have said that the youth of the day are “going to the dogs.”  This only proves that human nature is the same today as it was at the beginning of creation. Note the following quotation and see if you can determine the date of its origin: “I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent upon the frivolous youth of today.  For certainly all youth are reckless beyond their years.  When I was a boy, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of our elders.  But the present youth are exceeding wise and impatient of restraint.” This quotation certainly has a tone of modernity about it; actually, it was written by the Greek poet Hesiod who lived during the 8th century B.C. Problem children are not peculiar to this age, but ancient as history. I marvel that the world still stands.  Generations of by-gone days have witnessed hours of concern for their children, as their hearts were broken, and grieved by the disappointing actions of their children. Consider the following actual accounts of heartbroken parents for children who have gone astray. Cain - Genesis 4:8 “And Cain talked with Abel his brother; and it came to pass when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against his brother and slew him.” Many parents know the grief experienced when sons and daughters act as if they hate each other.  But here Cain had murdered his own brother, Abel.  How heartbreaking to Adam and Eve.  They actually lost both sons on that fateful day because their son, Cain was stubborn, jealous, rebellious, and high tempered.  Abel was dead.  Cain was cursed to work the ground and wander the earth. Ham - Genesis 9:22 “And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.”  Verse 25 – And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.” The Scriptures do not give us the details of Ham’s sin against his father. We are told that Ham went into his father’s tent, saw him naked, and told his brothers.  We find that Noah woke up and learned “what his youngest son, Ham had done to him.” How terrible is was for Noah to place a curse on Canaan, his grandson because of the frivolous, sinful actions of his son, Ham.  It must have hurt Noah so very deeply to think that his son would commit such a sin. Lot’s daughters - Genesis 19:30-38 This is the story of Lot and his two daughters who made their own father drunk and committed incest with him bearing children by their own father.  The children of the daughters of Lot were the nations of the Moabites and the Ammonites. It is enough to cause any parent to go down to the grave in sorrow to know that their own daughter would commit adultery.  But, adultery with their own father!  Oh, the sorrow of such an act. Jacob and Esau - Genesis 27 and 28 We find here the story of Isaac, Rebekah, Esau and Jacob.  Just think about the disappointment Isaac must have felt when he found that he had been lied to, deceived by his own wife and son.  Isaac was old, feeble, and almost blind.  His younger son, Jacob came in pretending to be Esau.  Jacob lied to his father and stole the blessing that belonged to his brother, Esau.  Afterwards Isaac was sorely grieved.  Jacob feared for his life and ran away from home.  Esau hated his brother, Jacob and vowed to kill him.  After hearing that his father desired his marriage to be to one who feared God, Esau married an unbeliever to spite his father.  Such treachery and diabolical hatred on the part of his sons caused their father to be grieved beyond measure in his old age. Later Jacob had ten sons who sorely disappointed their father by lying and ultimately selling their own brother, Joseph into slavery. Absalom - 2 Samuel 13 and 15 Here we find the story of King David’s son Absalom who, murdered his brother, stole the hearts of the people of God, attempted to take the throne of his father by proclaiming himself king in Hebron.  Absalom’s rebellion against his father was so serious that David had to run for his life.  This would indeed be troublesome if an outlaw had done this, but his own son? Amnon - 2 Samuel 13 Another of David’s sons, Amnon committed one of the most hideous, most condemnable, and vilest crimes recorded in the inspired Scriptures.  Amnon in pretense to be sick asked his sister, Tamar to prepare food for him, and then he sexually assaulted her, his own sister.   Surely the heart of David was grieved to know that his own flesh and blood would commit such a horrific sin. On and on we could go speaking of children who broke the hearts of their parents by their sinful thoughts, words, and actions.  Why were there such a large number of young people so diametrically opposed to the principles of truth, honesty, righteousness, and holiness?  Why were these young people such a source of humiliation and shame to their parents?  Why? Well, let us somehow, someway, just for purposes of this article bring these young people back from the grave to find out their reasons for such sinful behavior. Let us first speak with Cain. Cain, son of  Adam, how could the devil have entered your heart and caused you to sin against your own brother, Abel by murdering him in “cold blood?”  Where did you learn to murder, to hate, and to be so irreverent in the face of God? Cain’s answer:  “Well, my father and mother introduced sin into the world.  They were first to be disobedient to God.  They brought all suffering, shame, sickness, sorrow, and death into the world.  They thought they could openly defy the command of God.  I was really only following their footsteps.” Ham, son of Noah:   How did you come to look at your father’s nakedness and then ridicule him?  How did you learn to be of such an irreverent mind? Ham’s answer:  “Well, it should be clear to you that my father was lying there naked in his tent after becoming drunk with wine.  Really, why don’t you put the blame for my sin where it really belongs.  If my father had been the man he knew he should have been then we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now” Next we have Lot’s daughters:   Ladies, why in the world would such an abominable thought enter your mind to have sexual intercourse with your own father? Lot’s daughter’s answer:  “The answer to your question should be obvious.  Our father took us to live in Sodom, one of the most sinful cities in the world, a city that is synonymous with sin, itself.  The word, Sodom stands in your day as a symbol for a sex perversion called ‘sodomy’.  How could our father and mother expect anything else from us.  He could have chosen to move us to a place away from such an evil influence.  He didn’t.  What else should be expected of sons and daughters when parents teach them to sin?” We ask Jacob:   Why did you sin against your brother Esau so long ago by tricking him into giving away his birthright and then stealing his blessing by deceiving your father? Jacob’s answer:  “Do you know my mother, Rebekah?  She always loved me more than she did my brother, Esau.   One day she heard a conversation between my father and brother.  She came to me and told me what to do.  What else is a son suppose to do?  I obeyed my mother.  She prepared the stew that my father liked.  She put goat’s hair on my arms and neck.  I disguised my voice and stole the blessing that was supposed to be my brother’s.  What else should be expected of sons and daughters when parents teach them to sin?” The ten sons of Jacob:   Boys, how could you put your little brother, Joseph into that pit and then sell him as a slave to the Ishmaelites going to Egypt?   The sons’ answer:  “Do you remember how we were treated when it came to our brother, Joseph, the son of Rachel, Jacob’s first love?  Do you remember how our father showed such sinful favoritism to Rachel first then to Joseph over us.  We did not receive a coat of many colors like Joseph did.  We definitely didn’t appreciate all the dreams that Joseph had that “put us in our place” we thought, a place of service to our younger brother, Joseph.  Anyway, what else should be expected of sons and daughters when parents teach them to sin?” Amnon and Absalom, David’s sons:   Amnon, how could you do such a terrible thing to your sister, Tamar?  You could have had any woman in the entire kingdom and yet you molested your own sister.  And Absalom, how could you have planned the murder your own brother, Amnon.  I know he committed a grave sin against your sister, but murder?  And Absalom, why did you try to take your father’s throne?  Did you not know that God is the One who chooses who will be the king over His people? David’s sons answer:  “Our father, David taught us both about sin.  He actually showed us the way of lust, adultery, and murder when he stole Bathsheba from Uriah, committed adultery with her, murdered her husband with the arrows of the enemies of Israel, and did a pretty good job of covering everything up.  Well, he thought he did.  As you know, God knows everything.  Hey!  Everything we did we learned from our father.  Anyway, what else should be expected of sons and daughters when parents teach them to sin?” PROPER PARENTS WITH CHILDREN One little boy asked, “What is it that makes wildcats wild?”  The answer is quite obvious.  What makes wildcats wild is this, their parents were wildcats.” Ephesians 6:4 – “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” Proverbs 22:6 – “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” There has only been One perfect child in the world, Jesus Christ, our Savior and He had a perfect Father, God.” One of the most touching scenes in the Old Testament is the picture of a father as he looks down into the pit of stones covered with the blood of his wayward son and cries, “O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom: would to God I had died for you, O Absalom, my son, my son!” Now is the time for every parent to accept their responsibility for their children to “bring them up in the way they should go.”  Lessons from parent to child are taught consciously and unconsciously.  Parents choose to teach their children by word and example either the ways of the world or the ways of God.